The quest for a signal at our house continues. The seventeen networks that Dan has cobbled together in order to make one super network has the unfortunate downside of not being a super network at all, but being a very sad network that hates doing internet things. I am not sure Dan realized that when we decided to move to the country, his biggest challenge would not be man vs. nature but instead would be man vs. shitty internet. Our souls are being forged in this fire and teaching us many lessons about acceptance and also planning murders of major telephone companies. It is possible that we are learning different lessons.
But today, there were two victories. Dan employed some sort of company to come install a cell phone booster on our house like a very useful cherry on top of our roof, and now we can make phone calls via the CELL PHONE NETWORK as if we live in some sort of house that exists in 2022. This means that perhaps we can make phone calls that don’t drop every three minutes because they have to be made through the Wifi network that acts like some sort of dramatic woman from the 1800s who insists on fainting every time you ask her to do something.
Of course, with every victory, there must be a tempering. And that tempering comes in the form of more bees. We had a very nice veteran come and cut our lawn, because in North Carolina your choices for lawn service is veteran-owned or Hispanic-owned, and there is a deep division about which is the better choice. I have zero opinions on the matter, but I do know that I liked this man because he was smart enough to not run over the yellow jacket nest that is but a mere five feet from our deck. This development means it is time to bite the bullet and start learning if there is any way to coexist with yellow jackets, or if I need to consider war. Given my ability to defeat the ants in Mexico, I am clearly equipped to win this war.
The last few days have been a strange sort of monotony that wears you out in a way that doing things does not. It is monotony but also chaos, because newborns mean that you are not in control of what you do or when you do it, a situation that exists only in childhood, or if you are into BDSM. The monotony is broken up by the fact that our baby is learning to make eye contact, which has been very lovely because he now will make eye contact and smile. However, newborns make very sustained eye contact, and you know who else does that shit?
That’s right, Likely. And now I have two little creatures in the house who are staring at me and I’m staring back and they are questioning me with their gaze and I am having to intuit what they want and mostly what they want is to poop.