I find myself constantly looking at my baby and reminding him that he is endlessly cute. I have zero inclination to follow the current research of not praising your baby for his looks in an effort to not make them think their aesthetic value is an important contribution to the world. I will be telling him how cute he is constantly, and that his cuteness is an imperative for the world to go on turning.
After I tell him he is cute, I find myself wondering how the fuck old is he anyway? I really have been struggling to understand the concept of weeks. Is he seven weeks old going into his seventh week or going into his eighth week? I’ve already lost track of how many weeks it’s been since his birth anyway. Eventually he will be two months old and need his shots then I can ignore his age until whenever he needs more. I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing I need to keep track of at this juncture.
The eternal question at this stage is when to sleep? The baby usually sleeps for four hours until 2 or 3am, and then falls back asleep for another two hours before waking up. Common sense says sleep during those two hours. But even without a baby, 2am is my favorite time to be awake. Either it meant the bar was closing when I was working, or if I was I at home, it meant everyone was asleep in the world and I was finally completely alone. There is no better time to feel creative, to think, to just exist, than at 2am when even if you wanted to do something that involved the real world, you would not be able to because the real world is asleep, and it is just you and imaginary worlds at 2am.
I am also wide awake at 2am. Maybe I will toy with staying up and see what happens. That statement feels very much like saying let’s cede the Sudetenland because what could go wrong but only time will tell what a mistake I’ve decided to make.
TV SHOW REVIEW
Friends from College (Netflix)
I thought this would be a whimsical comedy about friends from college reuniting in their 40s. Within the first two episodes, I realized it was a bleak meditation on cleaving to the chains of your past and never moving on in a meaningful way and torturing everyone you know with your expectations of how they were instead of knowing them as they are. I do not understand how they got so many comedic actors in one place to throughly depress me. I was holding out hope that it would get better but Dan walked in and pointed out I had the same look on my face as when I watch horror movies which is to say I was utterly horrified, and then he too became horrified and soon we were questioning our decision Clockwork Orange ourselves at 5pm on a Wednesday and I quickly switched it to Alone, because watching people cry on an island while trying to catch a fish was infinitely preferable to whatever the fuck this show was trying to be. 6/10 I still want to know what happens but I am too uninterested in flagellating my soul to find out.